I am a student at Gloucester High School, but not for much longer. I, Colleen Brownley, will be graduating in June and I will no longer be a high school student. I can’t say for certain if shaking the hand of a principal whose last name is the equivalent of ‘my fart’ is going to make me feel like an adult, but I know it’s the start of not being a kid anymore.
The thought is a touch terrifying for someone who still guzzles down Capri Suns and just mere moments ago made a joke about breaking wind, but I’m excited. I can’t wait to breach maturity. I will refine my palette, drink Capri Suns from fancy glassware instead of the plastic pouches they come in. No longer shall I make fart jokes, instead I shall make flatulence jokes, it sounds much more sophisticated when one uses that sort of terminology.
Alas, that is the future. I would like to take some time to reflect on my past at this ‘esteemed’ establishment, to dole out my wisdom, so that you too might find joy, laughter, and survival at Gloucester High School.
First off, find a good group of friends and stick with them. They’re more important than most other things throughout high school and it’s harder than it should be to find truly nice people who make you feel like you. Second, if you find it hard to organize and keep yourself on schedule (like me) make a to do list. They’re fairly simple, take five minutes in the morning, and checking off one little box after I finish a task that seemed insurmountable gives me a weird sense of satisfaction. Thirdly, find little ways to enjoy yourself throughout the day. I like to do the Wordle in the morning (it’s unblocked) and go to the library afterschool to do my homework. It helps that the DAV is right next to it and I have a slight thrifting problem.
And lastly and most importantly, find something you’re passionate about. I adore writing, everything that has to do with literature consumes me and it’s what I’m going to do in terms of my career. I believe that high school is the paramount time to explore yourself, especially before going off to college and fully gaining your independence and it’s important to recognize what you actually like and what you don’t.
I could end this article by listing all those who have spurned me and their flaws in my time at this school. All my arch nemesis and various enemies. But, I won’t do that. Instead I will do the thing I do best, a fart joke. Why should you never fart on an elevator? Because it’s wrong on so many levels.
